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Tuesday 29 July 2014

Daughter or Daughter in law

The title of the post may give a wrong notion to some. They may presume that I am comparing my DIL with my daughter. No it is not so.  Even though by law, customs and traditions,  she may be a  DIL but in reality there is no difference between my daughter and DIL.
              Today in a reminiscent mood I  recollect  when and how  I first saw her. (Most of my friends know that I am a Punjabi, married to a Keralite)  It was the year 1986, when my MIL passed away and we had gone to Kerala. While we were there, my hubby's long lost friend came with his daughter to  condole the passing away of  his friend's mother. His daughter, sat by my side. We introduced ourselves and exchanged pleasantries. This girl left a mark on my mind. On our way back to Delhi, I asked my hubby about his opinion about  our son getting married to this girl. My husband  did not respond, but just smiled. After four months, we got a letter from my husband's brother in law, with a praposal for marriage  for our son with the same girl. It goes without saying that, Deepak, our son, liked  Kavita. The marriage took place at Guruvayur Temple in Kerala.
                                                  It was the first time that I witnessed a Kerala  wedding. It is a very simple affair, as compared to a North Indian marriage. In fact, the actual ceremony does not take more than five minutes. An interesting incident took place during the ceremony. Immediately after the marriage, the priest told Deepak,"Tholu", which means "Pray" in Malyalam. Deepak does not have any knowledge of  the language. He did not follow what the priest said and looked blank.  Kavita whispered in his ears  to pray and saved him from embarrassment.
                                             After we came back to Delhi, Kavita adapted very well to North Indian food, habits, customs  and  the atmosphere of the house. In fact she is the focal point of the house., and manages  the affairs of the house and her job very efficiently. She has introduced Kerala fesivals, Onam, Vishu  and many customs in the household. She has adopted Karva Chauth fast, and  many other practices very naturally. She is working as Principal of a reputed  Sr. Sec. School.
                          Her two daughters also have been brought up very lovingly and efficiently. They speak very fluent Malyalam, Hindi and English. She is a daughter of the family. In our old age Kavita gives us lot of moral support and love. More over she is very friendly with her sister in law and treats her like a real sister. Deepak and Kavita got married  in  1988, and completed their 25th anniversary last year. We are proud of them.. Our blessings are always with all our children.











14 comments:

  1. It was really very good to read about your son and daughter in law. You are all lucky to have found each other. Wishing them all the very best, and wishing you both too all the very best that life can offer!!!

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    1. Thank you Rama for leaving such sweet comments. Where have you been lately? I missed you.

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  2. Madam,
    I was very much pleased to read a North-South combination in your family.By seeing Menon in your name, I thought you were a mallu.You used to visit me frequently at that time.I wondered why you didn't read my Malayalam story.Then somewhere I read you were Miss. Choula. So may the almighty shower on your family all his blessings.

    In Kerala the preparation or marriage costs lakhs of rupees,but the function takes only five to ten minutes(among Nairs and some others).But among Brahmans it is slightly long.

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    1. Thank you Sarala. for your kind blessings.

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  3. I am always amazed at how you people made it work despite the cultural differences. These days, people from the same communities get married and yet they don't get along with half the family. Enjoyed reading your DIL story :)

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    1. Thank you Latha for the kind visit. It is a matter of mutual trust,love and commitment which keeps us all happy and contented.

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  4. Like all relationships, MIL-DIL needs mutual understanding else, it'll be the televised version. Both of you are lucky Ushaji :)

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    1. Thank you Reshma. It is all about adjustment from both ends.

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  5. Wow! that's a beautiful tribute to a dil from a mil. Did she read this? Stay blessed, ma'am.

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    1. That is a very sweet comment from your pen. She read it,and felt very emotional.

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    1. Thanks a lot Padmaja for the visit and the comments.

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  7. We,Punjabis have a mind set of blaming DIL for all sins in this world .
    I think it is as much responsibility of MIL to set things right.
    Before one expects DIL to behave like a daughter,it's important for MIL to behave like a mother

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  8. BK , it is not only among Punjabis to blame the DIL. for everything that goes wrong. It is universal.

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